If I was reviewing Half-Life 2, I would praise it for its physics engine, expansive environments and the incredible gameplay moments it’s able to create. I would also say, however, that the levels seem to be drawn out to the point of tediousness, and that the puzzle solving breaks up the pace of the game, sometimes even hindering it. If I was reviewing Half-Life 2 Episode 1, I’d say it’s a great addition to the original game and shares its feats and its problems. If I was reviewing Half-Life 2 Episode 2, I’d say the same thing I said about Episode 1. If I was reviewing Team Fortress 2, I’d say that it’s a unique online experience that really can’t be replicated anywhere else but it has a steep learning curve and little variety. And if I was reviewing Portal, I’d probably say something along the lines of how it’s a fucking incredible game that everybody needs to play but has the (dis)advantage of being a little too short.

But I guess I’m not really reviewing any of these games, but instead all of them. And therein lies the dilemma I’m faced with. What score do you give a package that costs the same as a full game, but offers four really good games and one nearly perfect game? Well, in order to give it a fair score, I’m going to have to take into account that Half-Life 2 and HL2 Episode 1, despite how good they may be, are not new and just repackaged ports. So that leaves me with three games to discuss.

I don’t want to spend too much time on Episode 2 either, because there just isn’t much to say besides the fact that it’s pretty much what the title suggests: an expansion pack to Half-Life. Sure, there may be some new gameplay elements and weapons, but other than that, it’s the same. So basically, if you enjoyed Half-Life 2 and Episode 1, which you probably should have, you’ll enjoy this one and there’s not much else I can say about it.

And then there’s the long-awaited Team Fortress 2. Sure, it only has six maps, but there are also nine character classes to choose from, which will offer gameplay that really can’t be found anywhere else. And you don’t really care about the small number of maps because Valve did a great job making all of them very good.

There are some problems, however. The biggest one is that it’s not like most multiplayer games in the sense that it actually requires some sort of teamwork. This means voice communication, so you need to start talking. And then there’s the problem of the classes being too limited for certain people. Honestly, I don’t really know what to say about Team Fortress other than that it’s a game you’d either find one of the most innovative and enjoyable mutliplayer experiences out there, or just play for a while as a fun diversion from what the rest of the Box has to offer.

And then finally we come to Portal. How can I even begin to describe my enjoyment of this game? Let me just start by saying it’s offered probably the single best gaming experience I’ve had all year. Portal is a puzzle game without the aggravation, and a first person game without the mindless shooting. It is a game that does not sacrifice gameplay to tell a good story, but instead is able to do both incredibly well. It’s a game that’s fun and hilarious simultaneously. It’s a game that the industry needs more of. It’s a game that should evolve the industry. It is art. It is (almost) fucking perfect. Normally I would explain how the game works but all you need to know is that you control a gun that can shoot a portal. This portal will open a gateway that will let you go where the second portal is located (later on, you’ll control the placement of both entry and exit portals). I’ll let the super level design explain the rest. All you need to know is that you’ll love flinging.

So yeah, I’m giving this an A, though it probably deserves an A+. Packaging five games into one just isn’t fair to the other games out there. And even though Half-Life 2 is somewhat aged, it and its expansions are still amazing and definitely need to be played in a lifetime. Team Fortress also definitely needs to be tried at least once, and every single person in the world should experience the greatness that is Portal. So if you can only buy one game this year, buy five games.