Oblivion was supposedly intended as the sequel everyone wanted. There was a pretty hardcore fanbase for Morrowind and they (we) were promised so many things lacking before Oblivion. They gave us horses, and they sucked. They really sucked. Even Ocarina of Time had mounted combat. Don’t think for a second you could concentrate on running through the pop-up woodlands of Cyrodiil (the game’s setting) well enough while holding a bow and arrow, no sir. They added ultra-realistic physics and we used it to throw random junk around right before being impaled on a broadsword by a snarling imperial guard accusing us of theft. Speaking of combat, the luster really wore off of that, too. Everyone was giddy the first few weeks about earning new abilities and techniques, about blood sliding down a sword after a good swing, about sticking an arrow into an eyeball from across a cavern, and every feat capable with the heavily upgraded combat system, but even that went away as time passed.

Simply put, Oblivion was dumbed down for the average player, and suffered horribly for it. It is still a fantasy game, but it’s a lot less foreign than its predecessors. Its setting is an average, plain-and-forest stretch of land with some pretty mountains and rivers tossed about. The inhabitants are a varying number of each playable race, which includes several definitively non-human creatures, but most of the people you’ll see are ugly, grumpy white folks. This would be a wonderful set-up for parallels to racism if there were more than just the one side-quest about the ramifications of bigotry. Another favor for the average gamer over the hardcore fan, the pretty pictures hog the console’s powers so that you can enjoy the excellent views as long as you don’t walk around or move your head. If you do not heed this warning, you may just have an epileptic seizure at the sight of landscape and structures suddenly exploding into existence. While you traverse these boring and needlessly outstretched hillsides, you’ll hear similarly pretty noises like wildlife that doesn’t exist and wind that doesn’t actually match the swaying of the grass and trees.

I think I’ve said about all I can without getting to my gripes with the game’s central plotline. Like I mentioned earlier, it nails down exactly what was promised by the prequel’s puzzles and clues. It’s meant to be an epic showdown between the angry Lord of Destruction and our fateful hero(ine) of choice determining the fate of the whole world we’ve come to know since Arena. Unfortunately, it’s boring as hell. It’s rife with clichés and unsurprising unfolding of events, with poor pacing and quest design. Your tasks range from escorting people and objects, fighting people and monsters, and… oh, wait, that’s everything. Thanks to the fast-travel system, you can warp wherever you need to go as soon as you need to go. The storyline can be rushed through, but that doesn’t mean it hasn’t been made tedious and weakly strung together until the conclusion.

The hype was over the top, the gameplay is shoddily reliant on the uninspired system of travel; not to mention fairly repetitive, the music is decent but its timing is abrupt, and the graphics are a mess. The narrative, as if I even have to clarify, is asinine. It was a (barely) necessary experience for the faithful series spectators, but it turned out to be a pretty painful one when looking back on the results. I will say, though, that the game is ideal for people who don’t “do” roleplaying video games. It will probably wet their feet, and Bethesda did an excellent job marketing this game to them, but I can’t agree with the idea that this is what should introduce them to the genre.