Fuzion Frenzy 2 is not a very good game at all. That’s my try at manners. Fuzion Frenzy 2 is the biggest mistake I’ve made with my money, closely followed by paying for a Spiderman 3 ticket. I’m really not sure how much I can write about this game without repeating myself about its endless string of failures.

How much could someone possibly screw up the original Fuzion Frenzy? The answer is just ‘Fuzion Frenzy 2.’ I remember playing the old mini-games repeatedly with friends long after bigger and better games had come and gone. There’s something great about that kind of game. Simplicity, variety, and great replay value worked to make a lasting party game that anyone could handle and everyone enjoyed.

Now the type of person that can take that game and make it the biggest waste of money in the Xbox 360’s history of titles is the type of person I never want to stand beside, lest the vigilante justice of an angry gaming nerd strikes them dead on the street in broad daylight. The sequel is very, very bad. I didn’t buy the first game for the graphics, but somehow the second looked worse. And uglier, too, but not because of technical problems. I mean the art and the redesigned layouts and visual themes throughout the dozens of button-mashing mini-games just made it look horrible. It looks like a bad cartoon on a public access channel, and the voice acting is about on par with that. Again, not that I expected a Game of the Year nomination, but when every game you play is announced by a bobble-head anime caricature with a puppet’s jaw and a voice that sounds like it’s traveling across a canyon, I’m a tiny bit disappointed.

That, again, was my attempt at being nice about it. The whole truth is that if you buy this game after you’ve read this warning, we can’t be friends. I will write you out of my will. I’m Jesus and you’re Judas. Even if you find it for 9.99 in a bargain bin somewhere, you’re not getting your money’s worth.