What is the one pet you always wished for, but will never have?
A wolf. Not a husky or some kind of fierce dog, but a legitimate lupine companion. We would go on adventures, conquering foes and solving fiendish problems together. He would save my life as many times as I saved his, and then in a last climactic duel with my arch-nemesis, he would arrive in the final seconds to save the day. Best friends. Partners in crime.Alternatively, Clifford the Big Red Dog.

If you had to switch places with one of the other staff members, who would it be?
Definitely Zvi. Because that would mean I would be living in America, paying half as much for my fuel and food, not to mention a much better deal on games. I mean for Christ’s sake, I paid more for Rock Band than he did for the console to play it on. It would also mean that I could get fat and not feel out of place, drive on the wrong side of the road, and engage in many other pathetic stereotypes.

We’ve all got guilty pleasures, so why don’t you share one or two?
VGCats.com. Need I say more?

Someone wants to make a movie based on your life. Describe some of the soundtrack.
A tough question, which can be taken many ways. Is this music I would want to listen to while watching the movie, or a soundtrack which is appropriate for the events in my life? The latter would have to be some form of hard trance remix of the first Pixies album, with John Williams providing a bombastic overture throughout. That, or Journey on loop for the entire two hours.

What’s the one thing you can’t do without?
As a certified heterosexual British male, it would have to be football. Real football too, not that rugby-for-girls on the other side of the Atlantic. No experiences in life can compare to the roaring fury of a post-FA Cup Final brawl. Each crunch of your knuckles as you shatter your hand on the face of some Chelsea loving scum. Except perhaps sex with a beautiful woman. But as a certified heterosexual British male, that ain’t happening any time soon.